Don't F*ck About

I’ve been prone to to moaning in the past. I have reached out to my friends to get it all off my chest and ask the world and his wife for their opinion. I’m also not shy of drama; I would go so far as to say I have welcomed it into my life on far too many occasions. I have also been one for acting the fool, trusting almost immediately and capable of loving fiercely - all of which come with their pros and cons. Alongside all of that, despite a very ‘bubbly’, extroverted persona, I can be extremely introverted and seriously lacking in confidence. 

In the last few years, I have learnt more about myself than I have in my entire life. Some lessons seem more prominent than others. 

Being grateful for what I have, no matter how bleak things seem, is the difference between my misery and happiness. Tonight as I tucked Charlie into bed, I thought of how he was warm, clean and well fed. He held my hand and fell asleep, I can’t ask for any more than that in this world we live in. When things feel AWFUL, I cling on to the basics of what I can be grateful for. The light is there if we look for it.

‘This too shall pass’. The good and the bad. There have been moments when it has been almost impossible to catch my breath for the pain. There have also been beautiful, glorious, happy times. None of them last. The only time we have is right now. So I pause, breathe and let my feet touch the ground. 

When I can feel my focus steering towards something that isn't going to serve me, I am learning to simply let go. There is no point in holding on. 

Reaching out to everyone I know for advice isn’t the right thing to do. There are times it can help - counselling is invaluable. But getting to know and trust myself will in turn lead to remembering I have an inner knowing. We KNOW in ourselves what is right and wrong if we can only stop to listen. Intuition is one of our most powerful gifts.

Lastly, a cliche for the ages: Life is not a rehearsal. Why do we wait for the big, devastating news before we ‘wake up’? We have the choice to create the life we want and be happy. Recent times have shown me powerhouse, beautiful,  loving women taken from us far too soon.

Don’t f*ck about. 

There isn’t time.

THIS IS IT. 

I am still learning. I mess it up ALL THE TIME and I will have to reread this a thousand times to remind myself of I what I’ve learnt so far. 

My posts are nearly always daft, tinged with humour and usually overly apologetic for myself and my opinion. I am a writer and this is what I want to say. You may not like what you read and that’s absolutely fine with me. What other people think of me is none of my business anyway.

Happy Tuesday, everybody.